Canned Pumpkin and Canned Chicken Broth.

Come back. Don’t make me choose the cable guy. Divorce. Break up. Come to me. Die for me. Fall for me.

You’re my pet and you don’t even know it.

At this point there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you. Except for humiliation. I would tie you up and dance around you in Alice in Wonderland costumes, then suck you dry. I would let you go down on me for hours. I would tell you to. Command it. I would drag you around on a leash. I would wear red leather. I would get myself into optimum shape for you.


*sigh* Wishful dreaming. I’ve got to cut ties with the past. Still not doing the cable guy, though.

Nicki Sux

I really don’t like Nicki Minaj. She’s creepy and her songs are boring as fuck. If they’re going to use one of your songs in the Summer By Bravo commercials you know you’re reached a dullness plateau (sorry Britney). And how many versions of the same fucking album are you going to put out before you release something new. Wow, she put out a single. A really crappy single. Anaconda is a piece of trash.

Oh no, Nicki Minaj has never taken any shots at Lil’ Kim..

Late September

A LOT of people are murdered on or around my birthday. It’s the weirdest thing.

My dumb brothers think my dad was the Zodiac Killer. My dad with a gun? lol. A spear yes, but a gun, no way. Plus he was too lazy for serial murder.