I have to forgive Satan. Motherfucker really aggravated my PTSD, so it’s hard for me to not have flashbacks about him, and they’re all painful, as flashbacks tend to be. He was a real cunt to me, but he also made me hornier than any other lover. I’ve been stuck in a repeating cycle with him, that I want to end. I want to go free, I want him to go free. I just want Peace. Why doesn’t anybody else?
(It does kind of suck that you would choose one of my worst Passion Plays I ever wrote in order to have sex with me and my doppelganger. Kind of a dick move on your part. And then to choose her over me? I might have written that, but you could’ve gone off script and then I never would have wound up getting date raped in Florida. You could have saved me instead of looking at me disdainfully after using me for sex and calling me a mess. I mean, you are a fucking cunt. I hope you realize that.
And then to show up 9 years later, flirt with me mercilessly, Get me to fall for you again, then “tell” me that you can only marry an Egyptian woman. You could have saved me again, from having to watch Marc die, but no, you just had to be a stupid little cunt about it.
And then when Marc is dying, show up kneeling at a gate, say “Hi sexy” and proceed to yell at me as I’m running away from you about how you almost fell in love with me, like that would be a bad thing.)
And then show up and threaten me with a knife at a garage sale.)
I hope my screams filled up your head.
And then show up with my alcoholic ex-friend at his mother’s house, drunk, and procaliming to be Robby’s boyfriend and telling him “Love ya” so that I could hear that. And yes I did hear you beg for my forgiveness, but I don’t think you know what you want forgiveness for, so I’m telling you. At least you’re not showing up at bars or my jobs anymore trying to fuck me, because I turn you on so much. Did you get a little taste of Heaven with me or something?)
And I would like to know one more thing from you. Why exactly did you and Lisa lie to me about you getting her pregnant and then her having an abortion? Because a chick like that would definitely be on some form of birth control. Also, I don’t think you would go out dancing the day after an abortion. If the point was to scare me off, why the fuck did you keep coming around? God that was a cunt thing to do to me! Did you just crave to see me cry? I never let you see me cry once, and I was almost always holding back tears. Thank God Appy kept me from going to your birthday party, and thank God Marc burned that picture of you that Lisa gave to me.)
I learned a lot from you. I learned how to not be a manipulative little cunt sociopath. You made me into a better person, whether you like it or not. I’ll never sleep with you again, so quit trying. And quit worrying about my weight. That’s none of your business. Do I question you about your scrawny ass? And don’t ever interfere with one of my relationships again. I was going to marry that guy and have babies with him.
Hopefully, you read this, whether in real life or in a dream. We’re finished. I’m never going to let you back into my life again, and you forcing your way in just makes me angrier with you. If you want to be forgiven, then be forgiven. If you can’t forgive yourself and can only take solace in bothering me further, then fuck you, you fucking asscunt! I know that I am a Class A dominatrix, but I really don’t want to punish you. I find punishing people tedious, and a waste of my good energy. There’s too much I need to accomplish, I don’t need to get caught up in another game of ethereal whips and chains.